I was having this conversation about a week ago with a few good friends….I tend to come back to this question whenever it gets brought up in a lecture, presentation etc. Lately, it seems that this question gets asked in a lot of fitness professionals talks….at the end of the day, are you a ‘good person’. Hmmmm…..I’ll be honest, whenever I hear that I tend to think about myself, my job, my family, friends, etc. etc. I mean “is Dos a good person?” (pardon the 3rd person reference but just thinking out loud HAHA!).
I think the important thing to differentiate first is the difference between #1 who you are as a person and #2 how others perceive you. The first one is what we are all about, how others might see this is really irrelevant. This is based on your own set of values, morals, philosophy etc. The 2nd one is something you don’t have control over. If someone dislikes you for whatever reason, he/she is going to find flaws in your style, your coaching, personality etc. We NEVER have control over this and its important that we come to terms with this fact. Sure, you can be a jackass and obviously others will perceive this as they will…..but if this is your true personality, style etc. and how you do things is in line with your core values then you really shouldn’t care how others perceive you right? If it bothers you that others perceive you as a dick then most likely you ARE a dick and have personal issues with your own behavior.
When people first come out to shadow, observe, intern with me, they are normally taken aback by my intensity and the fact that I will NEVER let anything slide in my conditioning sessions. This often comes with the harsh reality of some adversity, f-bombs, and occasional hurt feelings. Am I demanding perfection just to be a dick? Nah…..I demand it because it’s what we do, it’s what I DO on a daily basis in my own life. Student athletes today area STARVING for discipline…dying for structure…in dire need of guidance. You would be amazed at how they respond when they realize that what you do is in THEIR best interest and that you sincerely CARE about them as people. One thing can be said about me if an athlete thinks I’m too tough…..he/she will always follow up that I’m FAIR. I don’t care if you are an All-American or an athlete who will never see the field, you WILL follow the rules and you WILL do what ALL of us are asked to do….everyday.
People may perceive something different when they come and observe our sessions….this is something I can’t control. I can, however sleep great at night knowing that I help athletes reach their goals and become better people every single day. I can’t tell you how many athletes come back to train with me pleading that they need some ‘dosercise’ back in their lives. In fact, there are frequently status updates on Facebook from my athletes (either former or current) about missing the pain, adversity, and occasional anguish during their time with me. If this is not a sign that kids want structure and discipline, I don’t know what is.
I am great, great friends with a TON of former athletes, most of whom probably didn’t love me so much when they were with me. Some have been part of my wedding, some I meet up with regularly for beers, heck I’ve probably been in more wedding parties of former athletes than any other coach my age. It’s amazing how former athletes come back and want ‘the toughest coach they’ve ever had to deal with’ be a part of their lives forever….even after cursing you under their breath during our “times of adversity”. This, to me, is the most beautiful part of my job and I personally know many collegiate strength & conditioning coaches who will say the same thing.
Are you a ‘good person’? Only you can answer that question….